A peace of my mind

Choosing a path, is really a stressful thing, as you have to consider the consequences after you had chosen or what is the future best for u. Everyone do not know the future, everyone walk step by step, looking forward to better life. So do I. No one can predict the future, once success, that is your luck? your hard work. However, Hard work sometimes did not bring success, but the process of learning, and gaining the steps towards success....

In the meanwhile, I do not seems to yet starting the steps towards success. What do you consider success? I asked myself, and also to everyone who read this post. You are success when you have much money to spend? much till u cannot finish spending? Or your success is that bringing up a happy family, live peacefully? Or the success is the business you had encounter, was in a high peak, no more dropping? Or the success you are considering is that u had bring happiness to everyone, U help all the ppl who are in trouble.

It had been a year i step in the society, and yet i had done nothing and ended up working in a field not related to my study. I'm still a fresh graduate! Not that I don like the current job, is just that I am feeling so empty in myself. I cannot see what myself is doing. I am not ambitious enough! I admit. Do I waste a lot of time??

No, I don wan to, but I already did...till this one year time. I really wanna looking forward to my interest. However with my interest...I am so afraid of my future. Nothing is easy when starting up.

Yup, basically planning taking up make up course. This seems very blur to me now since yest I went off for second meeting with the ppl in charge on that academy. Wc and I had signed up the Government Subsidy, with the feeling of insecure... especially after speak with my dad and kw. They both gave me options...U see..we might have to pay in advance before government could pay us all (they paid RM300 per month, while the 1st month have to pay RM3k)

In dad point of view:
He said this academy must not be true. Since we are taking government subsidy, means we do not have money to pay any upfront which is 3k! unless wait for government subsidy that accumulate 10months time to get 3k then started the class. This course is unnecessary. What you going to do with it after study this? Make up yourself? in a sarcastic way?(not that i wanna make up myself, I wan make up for everygirls, build up their confident) As a girl, need not be so ambitious while just focus on ur current job. That is no right that the academy need us to pay in advance. (I did told that the up front money included the tools expenses, which my dad do not believe that the tools is so expensive). Think why government pay one month only RM300? This is because the course duration is also 2yrs and gov wanna make sure you are taking the course every month in this 2 yrs time! Have to consider my own started hardwork money, as not to waste on this too much yet. Saving....dad somehow wish government did not approve me. Not that curse me, He just concerning of me and my hard work earned money. I know that.

In Kw point of view:
He said I wanna take this course because I am interested, and I wan to learn. Says, if government paid half way, you still have 50% discount (in a bright side). Yes, I need to use up my own money to learn. But for the sake of you wanna study, it is worth enough to take up this course. And after you had study, to build up your own network is not easy at all. Not that professional as compare to those who work or face the clients everyday while me, just working part time or freelance. However, he did not discourage me, cause he says go for it if you want to, and not for the sake of money.

I am so...so ...so... no idea now.

Besides that, I have a very concerning boss lady. Yest she speak to me again. She asked regarding my future that am I goin to continue study(no, she is not goin to fired me or replace me with someone!!). She advised me to choose Clinical research (She heard the advise from a PHD) if I wanna continue persuade Master for bio field, as this is more widely demand in this world. She said if I wanna take something other than biotech, then choose something more profession. eg. Accounting, finance or MBA. Yes, is a total waste for my biotech degree. She said, knowledge is never a waste. The WASTE, is in term of time or money. Who knows? You might use it in some day. I did told her about the government subsidy of the beauty course. She get surprised a little, but then she said is quite hard to get the approval. If in term of interest, do not take this line as main job, and take make up better than facial.

In shorts, I am now calming myself, think again what everyone had said. I did let go or look trough overall 'openly' that, yes this course is a bit not a MUST. Somehow if i get it, the i get it,but after i get it, is the paying in advance thing have to bother much; Not get it, then it's not.