灰色是不想说,蓝色是犹豫。。。

Monday, April 18, 2011
我开始犹豫了。。。当他做那份工开始,我催眠自己“我可以的”。
我很支持他做这分工,我坦然也要接受他随时会离我而去。。
我很难克服我的情绪,但这两个月来,依然度过了平静的日子。
很少见他,很舍不得,但又能怎样?
好过他去更远的地方。
偶尔见面,感情拉近了许多。。。
加上我也忙工作,有时会拿工作麻醉自己,累了也惯了。

我开始犹豫了。。。他再怎么诉苦他的工作,我也安慰他走下去,他和我都明白,这分工的确有好的将来。。
我慢慢熟悉他不在的日子,慢慢适应,依然想念他。
更强烈的是每当见了他之后,需用更压印思念。
我有时希望我会洒脱、无所谓,原来我不是很能控制。
我讨厌女人的‘姨妈’,因我的情绪由它摆布。
我会疯了吗?为什么我会这么依赖他了呢?
问题是。。我有吗?

奇怪的是,当他告诉我,他很可能被派去沙巴,3个月回来一次,我非常冷静
也许我增经给自己有了心理准备,我还是正常的和他通话。
可是现在,我失控了点,写着写着,当脑海里浮现他那即可要走的时刻,
原来,我还是无法接受,还需要时间。。。
一时泪流,一时好好的。

唉!不写了!!!
但是,我答应,我会好好的。

3 comments:

{ xavier_vj } at: April 18, 2011 at 11:55 PM said...

jo.. u can do it geh.... stil gt us at here.. althou v cant replace him... XD

{ cheryl } at: April 20, 2011 at 8:23 AM said...

佩,我明白思念远方的他很辛苦,
相见又不能见,软弱时,想要依靠他时,他并不在,
对吗?
你忘了你还有我跟你一样,
不要伤心。。
我们一起加油吧。。

{ Blur Pei } at: April 21, 2011 at 12:16 AM said...

好的。。。谢谢你们。 我会加油!

 

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